You Told Me That People Are Holding Hands
And You Wished That You Can Do That Too
Showed Me A Msg U Had Typed

'I Wan To Hold Your Hands..
But I Am Afraid You Would Let Go.. Can I???'

That Was The First Time We held Our Hands

And You Promised That You Would Never Let Go..

ZY & LZ


7TH NOV 1987 & 27TH AUG 1988

SP & NYP

HOUGANG & BUKIT PANJANG

HE: chinese food, soccer, anything that ah pei likes.. =P

SHE: chocolate, flowers, sweet talks, money, shopping, family, friends, him..

HE: weird looking vege.. =X

SHE: SMOKERS, MASCOT, JELLY, MED...

She
Cs
Gera
Shimin
Sharon
YiyinG

August 2006
September 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
July 2007
November 2007
March 2008
May 2008

designer | kathleen
image | vikifolki

Ok, everything u have said is very true. i know i have many bad habits. 1stly studies, u know i dont do very well, everytime i try to do my best, but everytime when the results come out i dont meet your expectations i'm very sad. i scared i cant do well again. the more pressure i give myself, the more i feel i cant make it. i've really tried very hard. but often i feel like giving up and i dont feel like going to sch. i think that i can do it on my own. i go to school always get aimed by the lecturer, i dont go they send warning letter, what am i suppose to do? am i really that hateful by them?

2nd $$. yes, i'm financially low. i cant get u waht u wanted. i think i'm very useless. i see derrick has a car has a stable job i sometimes feel very envious. i was thinking to drop out of sch, but think back i think i shld continue on. i'll save up soon. but u know that i spend my $ much faster than i earn. i dont know where it goes also. everytime i meet u, i want u to feel happy, i want to bring u to eat good food. i dont want always bring u to eat foodcourt. so i'll try as hard as possible to work and then treat u to eat. i dont really earn for my pocket $.

3rd smoking. i say that i will quit by 31dec means i will. i'm not going to lie to u or myself. i mean it. i've been saying it for so many yrs but now i'm seiously going to go all out to quit. i dont want harm u to breathe in my 2nd hand smoke also. but sometimes, i really cant take it so i smoke. i want to reduce, i;m trying to but sometimes its quite hard. but i give u my promise its going to be on 31dec.

lastly, sex. i think i am too overboard. i shldnt be like tt though u are my gf. i'm really very very sorry. all that i said about sex just make it a history. i'm not going to ask u again when the time is ok. or unless we are very long tgt. i think i must start to learn to respect other. often, what i want i will get it no matter what. but i think i have to change le. sorry.

i meant waht i've said. i think if i were to mantain this r/s i think i have to give in abit more. =)

yeow

i dunno when would u chance upon this blog again.. perhaps 2am on some random day.. hmmx.. realised that everytime when we are unhappy about each other.. its always that few topics?? right.. i know that i keep harping on it.. but the thing is i cant get over it.. and we always leave problems unsolved.. so i was thinking after reading this entry, u may wan to e mail me, sms me or tag at the blog to tell me wat u are feeling.. pls dun use call.. cos i may not know wat to say then.. alright.. lets start.. it maybe hard for u.. but i wan it to be settled..

*studies*
i wan u to get good grades.. is not only because of me.. is for your future.. i know u will say u are not cut out to study.. i mean who likes studying?? i dun!! but i still must study.. no one is born with intelligence.. but is for the future.. compare a PSLE grad and a POLY grad.. which one would u hire.. or should i say which one would the society hire.. living a life is not only about yourself.. yes.. u live your own life.. but when it comes to this.. dun forget.. you will be competing with several thousands of applicants.. i hope u are trying hard enuff.. but also.. how can u excel without attending classes and doing your tutorial.. there is a difference.. dun deny.. how much u sow is how much u reap.. you have the potential.. i know it.. think about it..

*money*
i realised that you are often financially low.. and i know you are working for daily expense.. but i dun wan u to tired yourself out with the expense of your studies.. and also.. not having enough savings.. wat are u going to do when it comes to rainning days?? keep a portion of your money every month.. slowing u would see money growing.. dun keep telling yourself u get $300 per mth.. tell yourself u only have $250 per month.. and no! i dun look down on u.. i jeer at u is wanting you to get the motivation to start saving.. there will bound to be times when u would need money.. its jus the matter of time.. and i know u wouldnt wan others to know that your gf has more savings than you do rite???

*smoking*
you told me that you were scared that you will not be able to quit by that time.. which will be 31 dec.. for me i thot i had already gave you enough time which is a solid 5 mths for u to quit.. i dun really demand a total no cig.. but maybe like 1-2 a day at least.. then again.. you may say i dun understand because i dont smoke. and wats more u had smoke for so many years.. loving someone means accepting everything about that person.. this sentence i dont agree with it.. for me.. loving someone means to see him giving all his potential to attain the best in life.. i would continue to try until when if someday i gave up on asking you to smoke.. meaning i had gave up on u.. i don wish to see my love ones doing harm to themselves.. if they wan to.. they shall leave my circle of vision.. understand?? i really wish one day we can have our meal and continue shopping.. and not hearing 'i need a break'.. i am not concern about the appearance of a smoker.. i slimply dun care.. but i care about things that would be a lot term thing.. and that is health.. also.. smoking less would mean u save up more??? put aside the money u intend to buy cig and see how much it can accumulate to.. not willing to be so unfair.. i shall propose a question to you.. is giving both of us a chance.. i am allowing u to amend your deadline for once and for the final time.. when would the day be?? you can tell me your own time, you can chose to remain the date as 31 dec, or u can choose not to quit(u know wat would happen)... is your own freedom.. i wun force you.. u can take your pick.. dun wish to quarrel with u.. but if u chose the date and still continue to smoke upon deadline.. DUN lie to me.. i hate to be cheated.. alright.. u decide..

*sex*
i understand that you said you cannot get me the report because of serveral reasons.. but then with that.. do u expect me to live in self denial for the rest of the days i would be with u??? sorry.. but i cant.. aids takes around 8-10yrs to show the signs.. how can u be sure that you are free from it??? *touch wood* but wat if.. after we are together for like 4 yrs.. and i see signs of it on u.. what do u expect me to do?? i would hate guys for the rest of my life.. and can u imagine.. i would feel soo... dirty.. and you requested on your 21 bdy.. sorry.. but i think i am still not ready at that age.. firstly.. what if a life is created.. are we fiancially stable to take care of it?? secondly.. i really want to know that you are clean before anything happens.. if you are infected.. wat do u expect me to do?? do u know that when i learnt about it.. i really felt dirty.. its like.. i shared the same man that some chick had owned before.. can you understand how i was feeling?? i know its something that had happened long ago.. but sometimes you have to face the consquence of wat you did.. i dunno.. i still feel very uncomfortable about this thing.. give me your thots..

alrights.. thats is about all regarding the issues we or i has been pondering about.. send me a e mail if you want to.. i dont wanna settle this face to face neither thru phone.. thanks..

*zhen*

maybe i shouldnt post this thing here.. hmmx.. sorry.. ytd mood wasnt too good to talk about.. had mixed feelings ytd.. hmmx.. somehow i felt guilty because you are not having enough cash to spend yet you still wanted to spend on me.. then i felt weird.. cos you asked me how many you are supposed to give and when should u give.. hmmx.. somehow this kind of things u shouldnt ask me should u??? isnt this supposed to be asked to your friends or my friends and not me.. that was went i felt that you are not giving a surprise to me.. instead.. you are running an errand for me.. which is to buy flower.. i know that you are not experience and all.. but.. hmmx.. i dunno la.. jus felt weird.. i mean it doesnt matter how many u give, where u give, and how u give.. its the thots that counts.. i was taken aback when u asked those questions.. which was why i say things like if u give 3 then blah blah.. i dont really mean it.. but maybe was my mood ytd that was the mastermind.. then when all these questions are asked.. hmmx.. dun think there will be any surprises because will be jus a instruction given by me.. maybe like wat u said.. i was a bit too smart for my own good.. haix.. i dunno la.. Which was why I felt as if I am selfish.. Because like wat I said.. I felt like you were merely obliging what I had wanted and not doing things that is from your own will..

Went to your house after class, cooked lunch tgt and with the help of ur maid.. hahaha.. still edible.. keep asking u to go change ur clothing.. but when u open closet and take ur shirt, nv notice the bottle I placed in the cardboard.. hahhaa.. have to tell u to open again and see.. em.. unfold all the hearts to read wat was inside.. u said u were touched.. till almost cried.. hahaha.. dunno true or not.. em.. after that when to take cab to paragon.. on the way there it started raining.. and you said the rain wun last.. immd the rain stopped.. lolx.. em.. went to cine.. took NEO PRINT~~ hahhahaha.. u soooo nervous about it.. lolx.. then pic the face very geng.. but I still wanna take more in the future.. =P .. after cine.. went to vivo.. met up with ur friends and had dinner at sakae sushi.. today I am the one asking for bill.. hahaha.. total $69.07.. u may wan to buy.. hahahahaa!!! Ate 9 plates of colour plate.. 2 red plate, 1 ebi tempura, 1 soft shell crab, 1 unatama don, 2 green tea.. hahaha.. super full.. ask u full or not cos wanna buy cake for u.. in the end ur friends buy le.. hahahaa.. then played games at the sky park.. and home sweet home~~

Following.. is the process of your bottle.. =)

18 oct.. wed.. went to popular at orchard mrt.. bought red contruction paper..
23oct.. 1st drafting of letter..
25oct.. 2nd drafting of letter.. added liners..
26oct.. finished folding paper hearts.. searching picture for photo..
28oct.. went ps.. bought furry wool and 'ropes', start on straw hearts..
29oct.. 3rd, final drafting..
30oct.. went ps.. bought bottle, brown cloth, bugis village.. jacket..
31oct.. finished straw hearts.. threw away paper hearts (too big).. redo.. sew cloth..
1nov.. finished paper hearts.. tried to put into bottle..
2nov.. develop photo..
3nov.. putting everything together.. making the video..

YAY!!~~ finally finish..





Happy birthday dear.. hope u really enjoy your day today.. lots of things didt happen as wat I had planned.. but still alright I think??? Hahahaa.. sorry for the delay in the present I am supposed to give u.. hope u like the bottle from me and the jacket from gyss and wq.. lastly..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I LOVE U~~ MUCKS!!~

this is the letter that was in the bottle..

the sentences:

Ever since you came into my life, you had become the sun to start my day.
Every morning messages is a morning call for me, without it I actually felt restless.
Missing you has become part of my daily to do thing.
Loving you is an addiction, an addiction I love to be in.
I think I am being poisoned, poisoned by your love.
Quit smoking and your health report by 31st DEC, that was a promise you made.
You had already become part of my life, blood flowing part of my heart.
I had reserved part of my heart for you, so feel free to move in and occupy it.
You are now ranked 3rd, way above my friends.
I love the respect that you gave, hope this will continue.
The gaps between my fingers are meant for you to fill, will we do that till 60, 70, 80??
Every hug we had, I felt that my life was completed and that’s because of you.
If you were glued to me your whole life, I don’t mind carrying this burden along.
If I were 28, I would have agreed to your request for your birthday, too bad I am 18.
I wish our relationship would be like those of teenagers doing plain innocent stuffs.
When you look deeply into my eyes, can I presume that you are saying I love you?
3 months and still counting, but it seems like everything just happened yesterday.
How would a day be without you? Will our hearts still beat for each other?
Happy 19th birthday and happy 3 months, I LOVE YOU!! MUCKS!!

the letter:

Just finished reading the 19 strips of wordings I had for you?? Turn around and pieced
them up, it actually formed a letter from me to you. Surprised?? Well I guess not, because
most probably I will be the one telling u to turn the strips of paper around. There are
countless things I want to tell you but don’t know how to start with. Ok, let me introduce
this bottle of hearts to you. There are 3 kinds of hearts, sponge = I, straw = love, paper =
You. Noticed there are a lot more straws than other kinds of hearts?? That’s because I
hope our love will be the one filling up both of our hearts. There are 19 each for each kind
of heart. 19, which is the age you are today. 19 hearts is to replace those days when I
haven’t known you. There are 99 hearts in total, make a count if you wish. Know what it
means right?? Hope our love will be contained and filled like those in the bottles. Also in
order not to make this look girlish, I add in a photo at the front of the bottle and it became
a photo frame! Also look at the bottle, notice those green furry stuffs?? It is there to
reduce the amount of redness in the bottle. Of course the cloth and the ‘ropes’ to tie the
bottle, all things aren’t pre made, I picked everything just from stretch. Remember the
Friday when u did not managed to meet me?? I said I had to get stuffs for my projects??
Well this was my project. I remembered on the mid autumn festival, which was also our 2
months, you said that you were happy on that day and wished that you will be as happy
for today. So may I ask you if you are happy while reading this letter?? I really hope that
you are. happy birthday and happy 3 months honey!! I love you!! MUCKS!!

met at 3 plus.. i was late.. then you slowly prepare, in the end u late for 20 mins after i reached.. hahaha.. walk around vivo.. super crowded.. went to see the view outside.. it was nice.. nicer if u see at night.. but it was too stuffy with ytd weather.. em.. u keep wanting water.. hahaha.. walk to cold storage and bought water and sweet.. tried a top at zara.. walk till a bit sian..

so went to the cathay and watch FLUSHED AWAY~~ WEE~~ hahahaa.. watched the movie and u kissed on my cheek.. i turned and kiss on ur lips and we started kissing.. hmmx.. for quite long i think.. hahaha.. after that u told me u were quite shocked when i was the one taking the first step.. lolx.. i SHALL NOT do that again then!! =P ending of the movie then saw my poly friend de colleage.. ops.. dunno if he saw us.. hahahaha..

hmmx.. after that met up with ur friend.. then went to pub.. drank vodka orange.. you had orange juice.. tried c sha for the first time.. watched soccer.. then u guys played war craft... played till 1145 reach bus stop.. last bus 1138.. then u say try see will have last bus ma.. in the end waited till 1210.. then board another bus to clementi.. while at the bus stop saw ur poly friend.. so took bus tgt.. then reach clementi change cab.. take to bukit batok dropped him and to bukit panjang.. then to hougang.. hahaha.. long journey.. reach home at 1.09am.. WOW!~~ haha.. u so poor thing. reach later then me.. cab fare 35.. minus ur friend gave $7.. then $28.. so ex!~~ hahaha.. i can buy one zara shirt.. =X

so glad that u were with me whole night.. as least cared about my presence.. helped me to asked for a cake, fed me with pizza and wedges.. hold my waist when talking to them.. =) thanks..

looking forward to tml~~ u promised to take neo prints with me~~ hahahahaa!! with the shirt u wore ytd.. lolx.. xiao shuai ge~~

hihi.. had abandoned this blog for 1mth plus.. thot no one will actually bothered about coming to this blog.. randomly jus wanna see how it is doing.. and saw your tag.. felt appricated.. *smiles*.. hmmx.. had been stressful these few days.. cos had to rush school and also personal things to attend to.. couldnt meet up for a decent outing even.. sigh.. it has been quite a while before we did that.. hmmx.. oh well.. i abandoned the blog but i still can rem every meeting we had eah!! hahaha.. i can type out if u wan to.. =P .. hmmx.. if got any comments can jus leave tag.. hahaha.. can fight with the tag board also.. lolx.. dun be shy.. =)

when will be your next time visiting this blog??? hmmx..