You Told Me That People Are Holding Hands
And You Wished That You Can Do That Too
Showed Me A Msg U Had Typed

'I Wan To Hold Your Hands..
But I Am Afraid You Would Let Go.. Can I???'

That Was The First Time We held Our Hands

And You Promised That You Would Never Let Go..

ZY & LZ


7TH NOV 1987 & 27TH AUG 1988

SP & NYP

HOUGANG & BUKIT PANJANG

HE: chinese food, soccer, anything that ah pei likes.. =P

SHE: chocolate, flowers, sweet talks, money, shopping, family, friends, him..

HE: weird looking vege.. =X

SHE: SMOKERS, MASCOT, JELLY, MED...

She
Cs
Gera
Shimin
Sharon
YiyinG

August 2006
September 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
July 2007
November 2007
March 2008
May 2008

designer | kathleen
image | vikifolki

Darling.

ytd i cried when i was talking to zy. i was trying to bake brownies. then failed. so when he called, i jus complain. dear. i baked browines then fail. and he says ai ya. no big deal la. i worse lo, today have to dig hole till i have blisters, then have to go run, shag like hell. tml still need to gym..... and on and on about his army life. then i was like why u always cut my topic de. then he say i told him he can complain to me. ya true. but then when i wanna complain, then who can i complain to.

whenever i complain to him, he will jus ignore me and then jump to next topic. or find another problem that he faces and then say he is worse off! ARRGHH!!~ cant he jus show some concern like how it happen. or why it happen. i feel very down is not only cos i failed. but cos one of my collegue left le. then i wanted to bake before she left. but then i have got no time. and she said if i succeed in making she will make a trip down to collect from me. she is very close to me. then i wanna make something for her. so i felt very helpless. then when i told him that, he said jus bake another one lo. then i said i baked 3 times le. then he said then jus buy la. why need to bake. but is the effort u know. and when i say he doesnt respond to me. he was like i ask u bake again then u say u bake 3 times le. then what u wan me to say!

i am seriously very tired lo. always feel that he can always complain to me but i cant. cos no matter what, as long as is my problem, its a small matter. but if is his problem, it will be so damn big! like when i fall or cut myself, if i complain to him or show him, he will show me his cut as well. but i jus wan some concern. not comparision, see whose bigger. -.- then when i ask him to sayang me, he will anyhow rub while looking away, like jus yi shi yi shi like that. and sometimes even at wrong spot. i mean when u concern, u will look and see where u rubbing.

Everytime we talk, then when i am at one topic e.g. kok beat ting, and he jus gave a smug and say u know ytd we played a game at the bunk.... AHHH!! any person will like ask why. then how is ting. but he doesnt. he doesnt want to know what is happening to my world. all his concern is he and his own world. hais pardon my long long mail. seriously sad now.

i jus need some assurance and concern. someone to care about what is happening to my life. is it that hard???

13/03/2008
We went tekong with u. the day that all guys fear most is happening to you. couldnt bare. but i know it is a process that every singaporean guy will have to go through. went home and suddenly felt that emptiness in me. My period came during the trip as well. but i didnt realised until i reach home. really feeling so down. Luckily my mum said we will be going for sakae buffet at causeway point and movie after that. the food was good. but i didnt eat a lot. was thinking how you were doing and constantly looking at my phone. after dinner, went to watch step up. was holding on to the phone hoping that you will call immediately. but you only called after the movie started. couldnt tok to you much cos i was watching the movie. felt so guilty. but only after the movie, i place my phone back to my bag. didnt hear the call u made a while later. so sorry. its only the first day but i am missing you badly ald. sighs.

I realised 2 things from your mum today.
1: you are a good swimmer.
2: you only started to have rashes 2 yrs back

14/03/08
Slacked the whole day today, watching movies, taking care of baby, sending out resume and receiving calls. after receiving several calls, i finally gotten myself a job. wanted to share the joy with you. but.... anyway. its ok. i think i will get used to it. hmmx. i told it to my parents, my sisters, louis, shimin, ling, pam and jean. but not telling u, i will still feel weird. so waited for your call at night. from 930-10. waited for 30mins, when u called, i was elated. but u only said. ' i wash my clothes, bathe then call u back' and so i waited again. for 20 mins. and we chatted for 6mins. all the while it was you talking about things that happened to you. and when i wanted to tell you about myself, you said you need to hang up. the world seems to be crushing on me. its like i waited for 50mins jus to tok for 6mins and i didnt get to talk much. suddenly i felt so single. so back to single life again. its like when i need you, you wasnt there, when i wanna talk to you, i cant. i couldnt take it. so i cried. it was after a while, you called again. this time round i felt so happy. i told you about my job, and we wisper to each other. i was so glad you made the last call.

I think i will be leading a single-like life for these 2 yrs. but dun worry. i will get used to it.

15/03/08
third day. i went to uob to open account. my dad wans to use my name to put fixed deposit. after that, ntuc shopping. you called while i was at ntuc. was so surprised and happy that you called. you sounded so tired each time you called. especially today. so i asked if u were alright. and you said you wanted to cry. my heart ache immediately deep inside. then you said you missed me. and all i wished for was to rush over to you and hug u tight. but i know at this point of time i should be strong and encourage you. so i consoled you and hung up. when i went home, i couldnt stand staying at home cos that will bore me to death and will make me think of you. so i went out with min to watch halton. it was a funny and lame show. we were laughing our lungs out. after movie, we went to crystal jade la mian for dinner. so much like our usual dating routine. and after dinner we shop and went home. you called when i was on the bus. told me u kanna aimed by sergent ald. cos u slept in the lec. felt so worried for you. you know you have to be good in order to have a good life in there? hais. but i know u need a lot of sleep. but guess you have to get used to the army life? jia you ba! =) i will always be there for you!

I am learning to be strong, to be independent again.

hey dear. glad that you enjoyed your birthday. =) writing this post is for myself to rem..
headed out at abt 11.. went to bukit panjang to get the petals.. and head to tampines to get the cake and fruits, lighter.. then off to changi village.. couldnt find the invisible pen thou i searched in like 4 or more places.. sigh.. wanted to write on the glass in btw the toilet.. something like happy birthday or i love u.. so that i can shine on it at night when we come back. but nvm.. as usual. i check in. and dum dum me forgot to slot in the card. hahaa. fridge was spoiled. so i asked for a change. then i called up housekeeping to change the pillow case cos i notice a stain.. jus wanna make sure that everything was alright..

chucked the model car at the wardrobe.. then i deco the bed.. wanted to make the candles. but dunno where to put. until u told me that u will be late.. then i got bored watching tv to decided to put the candles at the bathtub.. mission accomplish.. then came out and saw u calling me.. sound so angry... sigh.. dunno what happen.. later realised that u called me for 8times.. too engrossed in making the I Love U ald. =( . rushed out and meet u.. looked so unhappy.. sigh.. then lead u back to room.. hehe.. u seems to notice that i deco the bed. =) then asked u to searched for another present.. first thing.. u went to the toilet.. gosh.. so kanjiong.. but u opened the blinds and saw it.. =) happy and sian diao at the same time.. hahahhaa.. gave me a sweet thank you kiss.. lazy bum.. dun wanna find until i give u direct hint.. hahaha.. surprise!! =) model car u always wanted. hehe.. then settle down and went for dinner and soccer..

went back room and u confided in me.. telling all the things in your heart and mind.. so happy that u actually open them up to me.. =) tok and you said you wanna take a nap.. i said i wanna watch tv. but went to light up the candle. woke u up and showed u the cake.. you were so stunned.. hehee. guess happy at the same time ba. know this yr u haven blew any candles yet. so bought cake for you. =) hehee. u so happy till u teared. hehee..

hope that its your best birthday for the past 20 years..

i love you dear..

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dear.. hmmx.. jus wanna tell you that these coming few weeks will be busy for both of us.. think the stress level will be high also.. then also maybe no time to meet one another.. haix.. how i wish u jus live across the street.. then wanna meet or wat also easy.. if not even like we go study u also take so long to reach home.. think these few weeks u dun need to send me home k?? if not very time consuming.. then u will have lesser time to study also.. we work hard together k?? bare with each other for few more weeks and i think the days after that would be much better.. sorry if at any point of time i may vent my anger on u.. i dunno also.. but i scared i will.. so dun be too offended.. it maybe due to stress.. then u also study dun too stress k??? and dun smoke too much.. bad for health.. i know i very naggy.. but then.. hehehe.. still must nag la.. hmmx.. we JIA YOU K!! jus a few weeks!! i believe we can de!! I LOVE U!! MUCKS!! =)

finally i got to see you.. ahh.. see what work had done to us.. sob sob.. we are ald living so far part, studying diff sch.. then now tons of work with no time to spare.. really hope this would not imposed as a problem between us in the long run.. haix.. even a dinner is so hard.. ahhh.. neverthless.. i had a great time with u.. with funs i had from touching ur chin and hahaha.. having my cheeks numb from laughter.. u made my day!! =)


from the distance of hands apart, we came together as one.
the process was hard but we worked for it.
it was lust at first but slowly became love,
a love that cant be replaced.

we came from different world, enviroment, culture,
we are different from the start.
but we matched all differences like pieces of puzzle,
and hope it would be a complete one.

i wish you would be the first person i see every morning,
i wish i could join you for meals now and then.
i wish our distance are just mm apart,
i wish you are right beside me now.

i jus dun wanna let u go....